I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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