Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
