I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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