All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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