Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
