i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
