I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She's the barista slut.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize