He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
