The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
