So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
