apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
