He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
