idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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