need another drink. this is the easiest way
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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