the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
