Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
