I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
