they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
