Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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