You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
