Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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