What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
