It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
