im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
