its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i barfeds in our rink
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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