dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
