i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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