If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
