I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
