Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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