this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
