Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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