shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
