I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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