I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
