mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
