I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
