I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
