In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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