That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
