that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
