I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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