Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
