I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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