why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
