With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Drunk is not a location!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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