Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize