Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
