i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
