We're facebook friends in real life
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
