Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So squirting runs in the family.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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