During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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