Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
