I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
