Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
