I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
