So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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