you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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