where am i from again
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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