I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
