I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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