false alarm. still invincible.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
