Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
