VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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