you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize