Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
