i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
