she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
