fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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