i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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