There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
